No reason
by dark.angel.casia
Summary: Spangel: Whatever happened to Spike? He isn't smoking, he doesn't have black nails any longer. Is there a reason? Season 5, while Andrew is in LA


**Disclaimer: **Not mine, never mine whines

**Warnings: **A bit of a spoiler for Angel season 5 and lots of swearing

Okay, so I wrote this after watching season 5. I saw my darling (SPIKE!!!) and thought: WTF?! Where is his scar? And the cigarettes? The black nail polish? What did you do to him?! And a little plot-bunny just jumped me. Please R R

* * *

**No reason**

'Yo Spike!'

Hearing his name Spike looked up from his Nintendo DS and saw Andrew coming in. Uninterested he went back to his game. The would-be watcher stopped in front of Spike's seat and began fidgeting. After a few minutes of Spike ignoring Andrew and the latter trying to get his attention the blond vampire looked up again and raised an eyebrow.

'Whatya want?'

'I wanted to … to ask you question…'

Andrew fidgeted a bit more.

'Well, get it on with.'

Staled Andrew blurted out

'Whydon'tyouwearnailpolishanylongerandwhyaren'tyousmoking?'

Spike blinked a few times, startled, and spoke up.

'What?'

'I meant why …'

'No no I understood what you said I just don't understand why you want to know'

Andrew gulped nervously and answered.

'It just, it was so _you_, you know? I mean it was part of you just like your coat and your hair and now there's something missing. Kind of…'

Surprised Spike raised his scarred brow a little higher.

'Part of me, huh? I guess you could say that.'

'So then, why?'

'Because…'

Spike trailed of and looked out the window deep in thought.

_Spike watched the slayer and her pet vampire fight against the xyz-demons and couldn't suppress a disgusted snort. Angelus, reduced to fighting with the slayer instead of killing her. Reduced to a weak copy of his former self and caged by a goddamned soul. But still, still oh so graceful while fighting and beautiful in the dim moonlight. Spike cursed himself for still wanting the impossible even after nearly a century and all the things that had happened. Called himself an idiot twice over for feeling jealous when Angel, not Angelus any longer, not the demon with bat-like wings but beautiful white feathers, caught Buffy's hands and held them to his heart._

'_I love your hands, Buffy. They're graceful but strong, natural without any of this modern polish or glitter. Beautiful just like you.'_

_Embarrassed the slayer looked down and Angel cupped her cheek carefully and leaned down for a kiss. Disgusted with the scene, but even more so with himself watching it, Spike took a step deeper into the shadows and walked away. He tried not to look at his hands, decorated with black nail polish._

_Spike took a drag of his cigarette and blew it out of his nose, watching while Angelus and Drusilla danced below him on the table of the old fabric. He was staying in the shadows like always and could just sit there in his bloody wheelchair and brood while others basked in the light of Angelus' presence. He wasn't sure what exactly he felt about Angelus being back, he just knew he didn't like being ignored and his inability to walk didn't make things any easier. Every time Angelus looked at him he would make a hateful comment regarding Spike's incompetence in absolutely everything. And worst of all Dru just laughed. She was cured of her madness, somewhat anyway, and happy to have her 'daddy' back, ignoring the one person who had cared for her longer than any other. She didn't need her knight any longer now that her sire was back. Spike was angry at Angelus, angry at Drusilla and bloody angry at himself for still wanting to be in her place and dancing with bloody Angelus on top of the bloody table surrounded by the bloody people tied to the chairs supposed to be the next bloody dinner. Frustrated he balled his hands into fists and hissed the next second because he burnt himself on his cigarette. Glaring at the stump he flicked it away and reached into his pockets for the next one. Meanwhile Angelus had stopped twirling Dru around and jumped off the table. He walked behind the humans and stopped here and there to lean in and sniff at their hair, scaring them, toying with them. He paused behind a pretty brunette and played with her hair, smoothed it behind her ear and leaned in to lick at her pale neck. The woman gave a scared whimper and tried to scatter away unsuccessfully. Angelus grinned and came even closer smelling her fear and breathing in her scent. Suddenly he reared back, his face scrunched up in a disgusted scowl. _

'_What happened, daddy?'_

_Dru's voice floated through the fabric._

'_Smoke, she smells like/of smoke. It's just disgusting.'_

_Angel looked down at the brunette._

'_She isn't even worth a good meal smelling like this…'_

_He reached up and snapped her neck._

'_I hate the smell and taste of cigarettes.'_

_Dru giggled and hugged Angelus._

'_Poor daddy killed the disgusting human.'_

_Together they began twirling around the room._

_Spike watched them from above and blew the smoke out. His lips formed a self__depriving_ _smile._

'No reason.'

'Huh?'

Startled Andrew looked at Spike, who went back to his game.

'I just felt like it. So, there's no reason, no reason at all.'


End file.
